I know, I know, it's almost March and I'm just now getting to this. A man has his reasons. Mainly job hunting, which has worked out. I'm now a cart pusher at the local Wal-Mart. So, this is how I do things, I give you a list, and this list tells you every movie that I watched, from start to finish between January and December of 2014. Then I give you my top 10 and my bottom 10 along with some honorable/dishonorable mentions.
Let's do this. *knuckle crack*
So, yeah. if there isn't a movie in the following list, that means I didn't watch it, and that is why it is absent from discussion. Also, this is all personal preference. If you found a movie really good, and I didn't, don't jump down my throat, I have my reasons as I am sure, you do too. Last year I watched 138 movies. This year, less.
The Legend of Hercules, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, Whiplash, Frank, Dear White People, The Skeleton Twins, Boyhood, Happy Christmas, The Raid 2, I, Frankenstein, Non-Stop, That Awkward Moment, Robocop, The Lego Movie, The Monuments Men, Enemy, Pompeii, 300: Rise of an Empire, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Chef, Neighbors, Noah, Muppets Most Wanted, Need For Speed, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Divergent, God's Not Dead, Transcendence, Cuban Fury, The Amazing Spiderman 2, A Haunted House 2, In Your Eyes, Godzilla, X-Men: Days of Future Past, How to Train Your Dragon 2, The Fault in Our Stars, Foxcatcher, Edge of Tomorrow, Maleficent, A Million Ways to Die in the West, 22 Jump Street, A Long Way Down, Transformers: Age of Extinction, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Tammy, Snowpiercer, The Purge: Anarchy, Sex Tape, Guardians of the Galaxy, Hercules, Lucy, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Get On Up, The Expendables 3, The Giver, Let's Be Cops, The One I Love, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Birdman, Nightcrawler, Top Five, The Drop, The Guest, The Maze Runner, This Is Where I Leave You, Tusk, A Walk Among the Tombstones, The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything, Gone Girl, Left Behind, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, The Book of Life, Big Hero 6, John Wick, Ouija, St. Vincent, Interstellar, American Sniper, Selma, Dumb and Dumber To, Saving Christmas, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1, Horrible Bosses 2, Penguins of Madagascar, The Babadook, Wild, Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb, Exodus: Gods and Kings, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, Big Eyes, The Interview, and Unbroken.Body Count: 93 - Not quite triple digits, but almost.
As always, one should start with the bad, and finish with the good. So, let's begin with my dishonorable mentions. As a side note, my honorable and dishonorable mentions will be in order of release date.
Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, I, Frankenstein, Non-Stop, RoboCop, Pompeii, 300: Rise of an Empire, Need for Speed, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, The Purge: Anarchy, Sex Tape, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Exodus: Gods and Kings, and The Interview.
Let's get right into the worst of the worst, here they are, my bottom ten.
Number 10
There isn't much to say about this movie, which is the main reason as to why it's on this list. There was no effort put in, behind the camera or in front. performances were phoned in, the actors weren't believable, having seen Bate's Motel, I know the lead can act, it doesn't show in this movie. The script was pitiful and cliché, you know how it's going to end before it even starts.
Number Nine
If you ever want to find out what it looks like when an actor is paid to be in a movie, and then not given any direction or a reason to care about the film, watch Transcendence. You'll find out what that looks like quick.
Number Eight
I'll be the first to admit that I walked into this one with sour grapes. I'm not exactly the most Christian person you'll meet, and by that I mean I'm an atheist. But I gave it the benefit of the doubt, like I give most movies. As long as the message is good and consistent, I generally don't mind. That being said, watching this made me physically sick. The man representing the atheist, Kevin Sorbo, was despicable, and in no way represented how an atheist would act in their profession, let alone how a philosophy professor would act, and don't get me started on the logical holes in the script and that phoned in ending.
Number Seven
I like Melissa McCarthy. I really, genuinely do. But this was a mess. From start to finish it wasn't funny and I'm not exactly sure why. I'm not sure if it was just the writing, her husband's directing, or something else entirely. She has comedic timing, as evident from her skits on SNL, it's all but lost here. I just hope this doesn't show us what's to come with the Ghostbusters reboot.
Number Six
Admittedly, this movie did make me laugh, but not at how funny the jokes were, but at how terrible they were. This is why you don't make a sequel to a beloved movie twenty years down the line, and use the same formula you used the last time. The Farrelly brothers have made some good movies. But ever since 2010, what they are doing does not work anymore.
Number Five
The best thing I can say about this movie, is that it is likely the last Michael Bay directed Transformers movie. When all of your promotional material for the movie puts emphasis on the Dinobots, and you don't use them until there is thirty minutes left in your nearly three hour movie, you've royally fucked up. I'm not even going to talk about how you got them wrong, because that will just take me down another tirade about how every Transformer is depicted poorly.
Number Four
I feel bad for Marlon Wayans, I really do. This seems to be the only thing he is doing. His brother is doing other, much better stuff on TV and in film, and Marlon is stuck making a sequel to one of the worst movies of 2013. I just hope A Haunted House 3 doesn't sneak up on me in 2015.
Number Three
I love Nic Cage. Let me correct that, I love 80's to 90's Nic Cage. Current Nic Cage does terrible movie, after terrible movie, with a few exceptions here and there. Usually, they're good for an over-performance laugh. That however, is not the case here.
Number Two
There were two movies about Hercules this year. One Starring the Rock, and another starring, whoever was in this one. I would be lying if I told you I could remember much of anything that happened in this one. All I vaguely remember is the obvious shots meant for 3D and the stupid repetitive overuse of slow motion.
Number One
So, that's my bottom ten. There isn't much more I can say about what was bad this year, because comparatively, there was much more good than bad. So, lets move on to the good with my top ten of the year.Here it is, the worst of the worst. Another "Christian" movie. Though I'm pretty sure this one is universally hated. With it's lovely 0% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, an average rating of 1.9/10 from critics and a 3.8/10 from your everyday public. I think I can safely say this is a genuinely bad movie. The acting is mediocre at best, the script is terrible, the message is flawed, and that random ending dance number is the single most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.
But first the most honorable of mentions:
Boyhood, Enemy, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Neighbors, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, In Your Eyes, X-Men: Days of Future Past, How to Train Your Dragon 2, Foxcatcher, Edge of Tomorrow, 22 Jump Street, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Guardians of the Galaxy, Get On Up, The Drop, The Guest, The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything, Big Hero 6, John Wick, American Sniper, Selma, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1, and Wild.And now, the list:
Number Ten
This movie was my childhood. I grew up on Lego's building random things that if you honestly looked at them while I was building them you would have no idea what they were, but I would. There isn't much of that randomness with the Lego building in this until the end, but it's the heart of the movie that stuck with me. The day it came out on BluRay, I picked it up and watched it again. It's the only movie that came out this year that I saw in theaters twice.
Number Nine
Michael Fassbender is one of the greatest actors I have ever seen. He steals every movie he is in. He can make you love him, he can make you hate him, and he can make you feel bad for him. He manages to somehow do all three of those in this movie, though more of a dislike than a hatred. The performance are the best aspect of this movie, you have to see it, to understand why it's such a good movie. The premise of the film may not make you want to watch it. But I promise, if you give it a chance, you will not regret it.
Number Eight
This is one of those movies that I give more credit than what is likely due, just because I love what the movie is about and what it is doing. It's another one of those see it to believe it types. Director Charlie McDowell, of "Dear Girls Above Me" fame, delivers a phenomenal first movie that I cannot recommend more.
Number Seven
I saw both of The Raid movies this year. I loved both of them, they are by far two of the most spectacular action movies in recent memory. The fight choreography blows my mind. The camera remains relatively still compared to any action movie put out by Hollywood. The Raid 3, which is still years away, is definitely one that I am looking forward to, especially if it can top this one, just like it topped the first.
Number Six
David Fincher is one of my favorite current directors. I love his style, and I love what he is doing as of late with his book adaptations. While I will admit, I want to see a movie that he isn't adapting from a source material, I can pretty much guarantee that no matter what he does, I'll watch it and love it. Ben Affleck delivers a solid performance, something a lot of people, myself excluded, thought he would not be able to do. While Rosamund Pike steals the show and gives one of the most hauntingly terrifying performances of a female scorned I have ever seen.
Number Five
Talk about hauntingly terrifying. The Babadook had my skin crawling, it was so unnerving. Just when you begin to think that movie cannot be truly scary anymore, The Babadook proves that it can be done. The Deeper emotional message behind this movie is what makes it such a strong film. It's even more remarkable that it comes from a first time feature film writer/director Jennifer Kent. Essie Davis gives one of the best performances I have seen in recent years.
Number Four
One of the greater post apocalyptic movies I've seen. Performances throughout are remarkable. Chris Evans has never been better. You can picture how the movie is going to end at the start, but the journey is worth it regardless. Some of the twists would be hard to see coming. This is again another "see it to believe it" kind of movie.
Number Three
How Jake Gyllenhaal was not nominated for best actor surprises me. I'm not sure if it was simply because of the nature of his character, or if the movie simply flew under every voting parties radar when nominations came up. This is one of those movies where you realize just how good of an actor someone is. Many people have said that they didn't like this movie, because of how off putting Gyllenhaal was. I loved it, because of how off putting he was. This is the best performance of his career, and this was the best movie worthy of a "character study" I have ever seen.
Number Two
I feel as though the main reason I loved Birdman was simply in the cinematography. I'm more of a performance by the actors kind of guy. But the way a movie looks and feels is a big part in how I appreciate a film. Not one actor in this movie, gives a bad performance. A few give phenomenal performances (Keaton and Norton). Galifianakis gives a surprisingly great performance as well. It's more the narrative of the film that takes me away just enough to keep from my number one. Because despite how much I paid attention to what's going on, I still have no idea how to properly interpret that ending.
Number One
Everyone talks about J.K. Simmons' performance in this movie. I'm going to say it now, he was not the best part of this movie. Miles Teller outshines him in every scene. Don't get me wrong Simmons' character is imposing and dominates the screen. Teller shows just how deep the human condition is, he takes what Simmons throws at him, and sends it right back at the end. That final solo is so exhilarating and mesmerizing. This movie, unlike any other from the year, had my heart racing and my full attention from start to finish. Miles Teller has an incredibly bright future ahead of him, and hopefully these performances lead to bigger and better things for both him and J.K. Simmons.
There were only twenty four movies that I found to be particularly bad this year, while there were thirty four movies that I found to be great. In my opinion, that's a pretty good ratio (12:17). Most years don't tend to work out that way. Last year my ration was 12:13, still positive, just not as good.
Now's the fun part. where I list off ten, of my most anticipated movies yet to come in 2015. If they're already out, they're not going to be listed. If I haven't heard of them yet, they won't be here. But first, the honorable mentions, of my top 10 anticipated. My most anticipated movies will lack reasons as to why they're anticipated, as most of them will be "I want to see this, it looks good."
Faults, Child 44, Ted 2, Terminator Genisys, Pixels, Straight Outta Compton, Jane Got a Gun, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – part 2, Creed, The Good Dinosaur, The Revenant, Snowden, and Joy.
Movie Ten
Movie Nine
Movie Eight
Movie Seven
Movie Six
Movie Five
Movie Four
(Southpaw)
Movie Three
Movie Two
Movie One
Most people have those last two in the reverse order. For me, the reason as to why they are in this order, is the prequel trilogy. I have such a sour taste left in my mouth from them that it's keeping me from being as excited for Episode VII as I am for Avengers 2.
That's all I have for you. That's it. I'm done. Other words that mean I have nothing else to say. Next time, some sort of movie review.
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